Getting it together as a dad

Random thought for the day:

Being a good dad doesn't mean
I've got it all together all the time...

It just means that...

"Getting it together" in relationship to
Loving,
Caring for,
And being a positive influence
in the lives of my children...

Is an ongoing priority in my life.

Enjoy the day,

Lee

A Dad’s Life Tip For The Day...Give Space

Hi,

Wrote this yesterday and thought I'd share it here.

Enjoy,

Lee

A Dad’s Life Tip For The Day...Give Space
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

Give space:
Give space to your children.

Give space when you can:
And most certainly when you must.

Give space when it’s safe and easy.
And when it’s not: give it anyway.

Give lots of emotional space:
More than you could ever dream possible.

But give it anyway.

Give space by...

Being flexible with rules,
Honoring decisions more than compliance,
Listening more (even though you could “tell” a lot more),
And loving whether it’s accepted, rejected
Or somewhere disarmingly in between.

Give space by...

Not attaching love to expectations,
Kind words solely to proper behavior,
And praise only when “all is in order.”

Life doesn’t come in a nice, neatly arranged package,
Dad’s most assuredly don’t arrive in that container,
And kids need to open their special delivery parcel...

In their own way,
Using their distinctive skills,
Driven by their unique desires,
Experiencing the fullness of their victories,
The results of their defeats,
And learning from both.

“Okay, smart guy...”
“Just how do you learn to give this space?”
And how do you know it’s the right kind to give?”

Honestly, I wish I knew the total answer to those questions,
but however you go about staying in the battle, I would
suggest that you:

Pray for discernment,
Seek counsel when needed,
Work as a team with your wife every inch of the way,
Be ready to go with your gut more than your fears,
And trust God for the results when you’ve done your best.

While I may be far, far from perfect in the “space giving
arena,” I can say this without any hesitation before God or
man:

Striving to give the right kind of space,
At the right time,
For all the right reasons,
Over the long haul...

Can build relationships like crazy.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Listening and Being There

Nothing new...

Very short comments: once again I've seen the importance of:

1. Being there.
2. Listening.

Major, major concepts to keep working on throughout all of
a dad's life.

Lee

21 Reasons I love being a dad

Enjoy,

Lee

21 Reasons I Love Being A Dad
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

What you will read in the next five to eight minutes will
not qualify as one of the top ten professionally written
articles of the year: guaranteed.

But you will read this, guaranteed: thoughts created on
Father's Day from a guy who loves being a dad.

21 REASONS I LOVE BEING A DAD... AND AN OLDER ONE AT THAT

I love the privilege of seeking to inspire, encourage and
help my children.

I love loving their mother.

I love the home movies I experience. The live ones. The in
house "reality shows" if you please. Kids raggin' on each
other, telling mom and dad stories one more time, hugs at
the door, serious discussions begun spontaneously, phone
calls to say "Hi, I love you," and small hands pressed on a
glass door to see the wonder of all wonders: the neighbor's
black cat.

I love happy birthday songs: songs sung in love and received
the same way -- in love.

I love watching my kids with their kids.

I love the smiles of children and grandchildren.

I love good memories, family pictures on the walls, and
cards from "Father's Days past."

I love the journey of growing with my children.

I love helping when I can and hurting when I can't. No, I
don't enjoy the pain. It's the honor of trying to help
because "I'm a dad" that I enjoy.

I love the privilege of praying for my children. I have the
distinct honor of joining the heart of God with the needs,
desires and dreams of my children.

I love being able to say, "Forgive me" when needed.

I love hearing "Mammaw" sing songs to her grandchildren.

I love being called "Pap."

I love sharing the lives of the kids with their mother.

I love watching the joy in the eyes of my wife as she talks
on the phone with her children. (A *very* frequent event in
our home I might add!)

I love giving the grandkids back to my kids just about the
moment I think I'm going under (or moments thereafter!).

I love hearing the laughter of family in the other room.

I love being a friend as well as being a dad.

I love being a father-in-law.

I love memories of my dad loving me.

I love being challenged by my wife's love for each child,
grandchild, and son-in-law.

DID I MENTION...

I love being a dad?!


Yours for a day filled with beautiful moments in time,


Lee

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

On Being A Father

Just wrote this... enjoy.

Lee

On Being A Father
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

Having a child make make me a father,
but only by having a good heart
will I ever be the father I should be.

25 Things That Matter When Relating To Our Children

Hi,

I may comment on this more later, but I thought it would be good to post this at the present time. Also, it's just a good reminder!

Enjoy,

Lee

25 THINGS THAT MATTER WHEN RELATING TO OUR CHILDREN
(Short Shots On Leaving A Legacy Of Love To Those We Love)
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

In my opinion, these things matter...

1. Enjoying childlike delights before the child no longer
delights in being one.

2. Paying attention long enough to understand yet caring
enough to make a necessary correction once it's all
understood.

3. Responding to immaturity in a mature way.

4. Being silly when I can,
5. And fun when it's not cool to be silly.

6. Making time to listen when it's their time -- not just
"my time."

7. Being big enough to say "I was wrong,"
8. Sensitive enough to ask, "Will you forgive me?"
9. And courageous enough to correct my ways in the process.

10. Teaching by my actions that additional freedom is earned
by being responsible and not an automatic right acquired on
the date of the next birthday.

11. Sharing laughter for no other reason than laughter is
being shared with me.

12. Complimenting like crazy,
13. Avoiding foolish demands like the plague,
14. And hugging whether they are huggable or not.

15. Remembering that little people are no more -- but no
less than -- just that: little people.

16. Looking in the mirror and realizing "I'm one of the
little people who got older."

17. Making sure that "You've done well" doesn't always carry
with it "But you *should have* done better."

18. Knowing when to truthfully say "For this I am not
responsible: you are." (And living with myself once I've
said it.)

19. Knowing the importance of releasing without
disconnecting,
20. Being a friend while being a parent,
21. Listening to learn instead of waiting to tell,
22. And giving space without giving up.

23. Knowing the immense value of being able to say in the
end "I have done all I could reasonably do -- and then
some."

24. Taking time to show up when I can as opposed to wishing
I could when showing up is not possible (or even worse: not
wanted).

25. Loving with all my heart because in the end it's worth
it all.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Couldn't you use A Beautiful Moment In Time about now?
Go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Just thinking once again...

I know I've shared these basic ideas before, but while sitting here at my desk (at home) and reflecting a bit, I'm continually "amazed" at these basics in relationship to our efforts to build and maintain strong family relationships:

1. Careful, determined, heart felt listening.
2. Sharing that builds the other person up through things such as affirmation and encouragement.
3. Not giving up. Trying hard, failing, and making the decision to keep on moving as best as we can throughout a variety of situations and stages in life.
   
4. Enjoying what you, when you can, relative to each family member in terms of who they are... from the little ones to the big ones.
5. If married, constantly loving your wife. I really believe one of the greatest gifts a dad can give his kids is loving and cherishing his wife.
   
6. Working at enjoying life in general. In my case, that would include asking the Lord to give me his joy in daily live.
7. Related to the above (and in relationship to myself coming from faith-based perspective), striving to stay "connected" with the Lord whenever and however I can.
   

Nothing new... just a dad's perspective while accomplishing other tasks at the desk.

The best to you and those you love in all things,

Lee